


Le Chatelier's Principle

by loosegoose



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Alpha Kara Danvers, F/F, SuperCorp
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-12
Updated: 2020-12-12
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:54:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,640
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28018821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loosegoose/pseuds/loosegoose
Summary: Le Chatelier's principle states that if a dynamic equilibrium is disturbed by changing the conditions, the position of equilibrium shifts to counteract the change to reestablish an equilibrium.
Relationships: Kara Danvers/Lena Luthor, Lena Luthor/Jack Spheer
Kudos: 68





	Le Chatelier's Principle

Le Chatelier’s Principle

Wood tiles were always hard to pull off. Sure, in theory, it was easier to clean than wood, but other than that it wasn’t close to the real thing. Sunlight didn’t bounce off and capture the texture of the wood, it just made it painfully obvious that it was tile. Didn’t bring the same warmth and tie a room together the way real wood did. Didn’t give it character and a sense of being home. It was an attempt to recreate something that it didn’t have any right to. And it failed spectacularly. Lacking the ability to recreate the knots and the grains, the remnants of what was once alive at all. The grout lines in the tile broke the illusion and took her back to a reality she hadn’t really left.

It was just a floor. she didn’t need to overtly criticize everything in her field of view to distract herself. It didn’t help for that long anyway. To be entirely honest, nothing helped at all. Since when did being a hardwood floor snob help anyone in the history of humanity?

“Are you sure the coffee’s alright? I added two sugars.” Lena blinked and looked at the mug in her hand, she had barely taken a couple of sips from it. It was too sweet for her, but far better than the last sugary disaster Kara had made for her. That was more sugar than coffee and she’d nearly spit it all over herself, it was some of the worst coffee she’d ever had, but Kara had spent so much time on it. From buying an old school coffee maker just because Lena had called it cute to buying the beans, grinding them and burning the coffee, it was, quite literally, the sweetest thing someone had made for her. “You know I can’t control myself around sugar but I—”

“It’s alright, Kara. A bit sweet, but I can drink it.” She could have possibly phrased that a lot nicer. Given her some sort of semblance or cue that she liked it. She forces a smile and takes another sip instead.

The corner or Kara’s lips raise in one of those genuine smiles Lena swears are reserved solely for her. She looks away before her heart starts to interfere with her words. “I would’ve believed you, you know if you didn’t almost gag after every sip.” Shit, she was usually a much better liar than this. Her mouth opens to try and convince Kara. To tell her that it was an amazing improvement in caffeine, but the blonde removes the cup from her hand. Her smile now wider and showing more teeth. Was there a version of her smile that she didn’t like?

Kara’s quickly up from the couch and pouring the remnant of the cup down the drain, probably ready to make another one for her. But Lena didn’t come to Kara’s apartment for the lackluster coffee or the floor that made a shitty attempt at looking like wood. She came to finally talk to Kara about the elephant in the room.

Lena’s feelings. Try as she might, she wasn’t able to smother them with busy schedules and endless dates. She sure as hell gave it her best attempt, though. And while it was fun for a while to feel wanted, desired and revered. To have men and women try to impress her with the best restaurants in National city, it wasn’t enough. But it was still nice. To pick out a dress and put her makeup on, all while letting her heart hope that this date would finally be the one that propels her out of her perpetual disaster of a crush on Kara. It wasn’t a fucking crush but she didn’t want to sit down all day and think about the extent of what exactly it was that she felt for Kara. 

She didn’t  _ hate  _ going on dates. It was nice. A little annoying to have to come up with new topics of conversation that she thought her date would enjoy. I mean, how many times can a person answer “what do you like to do for fun?” before they lose their fucking mind? But it’s what came with dating, dry questions at first. It came with awkward walks to her car that ultimately led to the possibility of a kiss. 

Regardless of how much or not she liked the date, she would have a smile plastered on the drive back to her apartment. Not because of the date. Not because of the kiss. But because her mind had already wandered back to thoughts of Kara. Be it a recent joke they shared, or that time she swore Kara’s eyes lingered on her breast for a second too long to be able to play it off. Lena was convinced she didn’t care she’d been caught staring. Fuck, it didn’t matter, her thoughts always hovered back to Kara.

As if on autopilot. No matter what she did to stop. And it was exasperating, which is why she was here. Well, the reason she was here was truly Lex. What started off a teasing joke finally culminated yesterday with a serious talk in his office that more or less said she should talk to Kara before he does. The asshole.

“Don’t make any more coffee, Kara.” Kara looks at her as if she’s analyzing her. “Do you actually want to go out for a walk?.” Suddenly the apartment setting was a little too intimate.

“A walk? Since when do you go on walks?”

“It’s just nice outside.” Lena stands, exasperated. If she’s outside, she’ll be forced to keep her composure.

The walk outside is nice. She tries to stay out of her thoughts by commenting on the weather, and the plants and honestly anything that buys her time. Could she do this? 

Of course, she would. Would it work? Well, it didn’t work last time she tried to address her feelings with Kara. There was not as much talking as it was Lena leaning in to kiss her only to have Kara remain motionless. Stoic. She had taken the great plunge only to find out that the pool was dry. 

Kara had tried to explain that she was flattered but she didn’t want to change things between them. That she cherished Lena’s friendship too much for that. That anyone would be lucky to have her which is why she didn’t want to do something to lose her.. Lena had tried to give her time. To think and see how much sense it made for them to be together, to see how their friendship, as great as it was, paled in comparison to what it could be. With what they both wanted. 

It was exhausting to keep on trying to pretend like she didn’t notice Kara’s eyes linger on her more than was normal for a close friend. To keep the pretense going when Kara made it to her office, take-out in hand insisting that Lena should put herself first before her responsibilities at L-corp. 

“So, how was last night? You didn’t text back.” It was a good date, the food was delicious, the conversation entertaining and in the end, she had allowed Jack to kiss her. It was a pleasant kiss too, not that her standards were that high now. As long as she didn’t end up with saliva on her nose again, it was all good. That one had been quite the date. Horrible kiss, but funny story to tell Sam, for sure. Not Kara though, she couldn’t have told Kara that story. But last night’s date wasn’t a complete shitshow. It wasn’t Kara, but for the first time, she was glad. It was a breath of fresh air. She was starting from a blank slate, she wasn’t wondering about any small thing that Kara did. Wondering if it meant anything more. She knew Jack liked her. 

“Sorry. I just didn’t make it home till late.” Maybe there  _ was  _ a version of Kara’s smile she didn’t like. The one in which she quickly looked away and cleared her throat.She would much rather have the wide one in which she looked to her right, avoiding eye contact. 

“Well, I’m glad you had fun!” Kara says a little too chipper. And Lena hates it. She hates when Kara does things that she can read into. There was clearly disappointment in her tone. There’s no way that Lena was imagining all of it. Even Lex had corroborated her thoughts last night. 

They stay quiet for a moment. Not a comfortable silence between old friends but an awkward one. Heavy and charged. 

“Do you think you’ll go out with him again?” Lena laughs out loud. She’s seconds away from grabbing Kara by the shoulder and shaking some sense into her, but they were in public. And Lena was more composed than that.

“Probably, I’m not sure.” 

“Oh, well…was he nice?” Lena considers 

“He was.” Lena smiles thinking back to her date with Jack. “And funny.”

“Well, I’m glad you had fun.” She says, almost unaware that she’s repeating herself.

“You said that already.”

“I mean it.” Lena starts picking at the leaves in the nearby bush breaking them into tiny little pieces. When she was young she remembers pulling at the leaves in their garden. Lex had seen her pull at a leaf that released a white liquid and Lex had convinced her try it because it tasted like milk. It was good idea at first but ended up leaving a bad taste in her mouth

“I do, you deserve the best.”

“Then why doesn’t it feel like I’ll get it?” There. That's a little more of a hint. Surely she will be able to get that. “Or if I do find someone I like, they don’t like me back.” 

“Lena.” Kara barely whispers.

“What, Kara?” She asks a little more harshly that she intends. She’s so tired of walking on eggshells. Tired of playing chess instead of saying what she finally means. 

“You know that’s not why--” Why she rejected her, she finishes, in her head. Because she can’t really say those words out loud. They hurt too much. 

“I know.” 

“No, you don’t. Lena, I don’t want to mess things up. We’ve just been through so much and I--” 

“Don’t want to mess things up. You keep on saying that Kara. Yet you give me hope. I try to put space to try and get over you and you’re always there.” Kara flinches back as if slapped. She’s guilty. Caught red-handed. “You want to be honest and not lead me on?”

“Lena--” 

“Stop being so disappointed about my dates when you’re the one bringing them up.  _ You’re  _ the one bringing them up. You’re the one who--” 

“I’m sorry. I won’t bring it up again. It’s just--” Kara inhales deeply and Lena stops breathing altogether. Somehow her idiotic heart still holds on to her every word. Hoping there’s something to hold on to. “Forget it.” 

Lena blinks back, somehow shocked at the result. What else did she expect? That Kara would somehow change, when they had been doing this same routine for what seemed like a lifetime. Except last time she was at least able to get a kiss out of it. All she was left with was a headache and hurt ego. Lena thinks of something snarky to say but figures it’s not worth the time. She’ll forget it. 

How was she going to tell Lex about this? He was the one who had convinced her to make a final attempt where she gave it her all. To  _ finally get it out of her system for fuck’s sake Lena. It’s been years. _

______

Lena didn't indulge herself, at least not in terms of diet. Yes, she was definitely just talking about her diet. She indulges herself many other ways but she mostly keeps a constant diet. A large quinoa bowl Monday through Friday and on the weekends she allowed herself to eat meat. She wasn’t a big meat eater anyways, plus it kept her in shape. She didn't have enough time for the gym anyway. Not with all of the fucking emails that had suddenly started to accumulate in her inbox as of late. 

Lena was bored. She had been going over plenty of email after getting back from Kara’s. Emails ranging from simple things that could have been delegated to someone else. Like her assistant. Eve. She would have to talk to Eve when she went into work Monday. All of this late work at night wasn’t working out for her well-being. She needed to take some time off. She needed time to herself and there was no possible way to have that if she had 5 unanswered emails. 

Her phone of course choses this time to start ringing. Kara. A part of her wants to pick up the phone and yell at Kara to leave her the hell alone but she just grabs the phone and turns it off. It wasn’t childish to ignore Kara. They had already talked and she had already listened. Kara didn’t want to be in a relationship and Lena didn’t want to continue pretending that she was alright with being just friends. It was disingenuous. And regardless of how hard she tried to keep her feelings in check, she just needed some time away from Kara. Well, perhaps she should have told Kara that part. That seeing Kara every day, seeing how her eyes got brighter when we saw Lena. It was all too much. 

Even if Kara told her a million times that she wasn’t wanting to be more than friends, Lena’s heart didn’t listen. It just searched for clues that reassured her that Kara felt the same way. And at this point, it was getting more ridiculous by the second. So Lena came up with a plan of action. She would ignore Kara for a couple of days and then send her a text asking for space. Kara was persistent to a fault, but she would make her understand. She would.

She stands up from her couch, dragging the blanket with her and stares at her fridge for what feels like hours. Boy, she’d bought a lot of salad. She wasn’t feeling it though. She wanted something else. She’s not sure what. But definitely not Asian medley and grilled chicken. Her freezer, then.

There were those frozen dumplings that Kara loved so much. And a tub of “Triple decadent Chocolate” Ice cream. Lena was more of a Vanilla type of person. Adventure wasn’t her forte when it came to Ice cream, sure but dammit no one could beat a good Vanilla pint. Which is why she’s particularly peeved that she’d already eaten her way through the French Vanilla Kara had bought her. She smiles, thinking how cute Kara was insisting Lena needed to have ice cream in her fridge at all times.

_ Wait, so what do you do when you’re sad? Or when you want to watch scary movies? What do you do when you want ice cream Lena? _

She didn’t watch scary movies, or movies at all. Fine, she didn’t really watch television, period. At least not before Kara and definitely not now that curling on that couch only reminds her of curling in late at night to watch scary movies with Kara. And she usually didn’t get ice cream when she craved it. Because it wasn’t readily available in her fridge and she didn’t want to trouble anyone late at night for something like ice cream. She often didn’t have to. Kara would often show up at her place with ice creams and other snacks that Lena didn’t often allow herself to eat. But she had always been ready to make exceptions for Kara.

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this on my computer for about a year and just needed to get it out.


End file.
